Fitness Meets Literature in Bizarre Hybrid Nobody Asked For
The Mombasa Public Library has introduced “ReadMills”treadmills equipped with book standsallowing patrons to exercise while reading, creating what librarians optimistically call “the future of literacy” and what everyone else calls “a concussion waiting to happen.”
The initiative aims to combat declining readership by literally forcing people to move while consuming literature. “People say they don’t have time to read or exercise,” explained Chief Librarian Agnes Mutiso. “Now they can fail at both simultaneously.” Within the first week, the library reported three twisted ankles, two collisions with bookshelves, and one patron who somehow ended up reading the same page for forty-five minutes while walking nowhere.
The book treadmill experiment reveals a fundamental flaw in human multitasking abilities. According to the American Psychological Association, the brain struggles to process multiple complex tasks simultaneously, which explains why patron James Oloo finished an entire mystery novel without remembering who committed the murder. “I was too focused on not falling,” he admitted.
Early adopters report mixed results. “I thought I could read a thriller while jogging,” said fitness enthusiast Mary Adhiambo. “Turns out when the book gets suspenseful, you run faster involuntarily. I accidentally sprinted through three chapters and nearly flew off the back.” The library has installed crash pads behind each ReadMill, which have seen more use than the actual books.
Research from Harvard Health shows that reading reduces stress and improves cognitive function, but apparently not when combined with cardiovascular exercise and the constant fear of face-planting. The library has added a disclaimer: “We are not responsible for injuries, motion sickness, or existential dread caused by walking in place while fictional characters go on actual journeys.”
The romance section has proven particularly hazardous. “I got emotionally invested in a love scene and forgot I was walking,” confessed patron Daniel Kamau. “Next thing I know, I’m tangled in the emergency stop cord, sprawled across the treadmill, and a librarian is asking if I’m okay. The answer is no, both physically and emotionally.”
Children’s story time has been adapted to the new format, with mixed results. Five-year-olds attempting to walk on treadmills while following picture books has created what staff describe as “controlled chaos.” One child walked backwards the entire session, claiming the story made more sense that way. Educators aren’t sure if this represents advanced literary analysis or simply the natural confusion of reading while moving.
The library plans to expand the program with stationary bikes for magazines, rowing machines for poetry, and something called “Climbing Wall Classics” for people who want to risk their lives while reading Hemingway. “We’re revolutionizing how people interact with books,” Mutiso declared while bandaging a patron who tried to read a cookbook while walking and somehow got hungry enough to faint.
Critics argue the initiative misses the point of readingquiet contemplation and mental escapebut defenders insist it’s adapting to modern attention spans. “If people won’t sit still to read, we’ll make them move,” explained library board member Peter Kimani. “It’s either this or admit that most people would rather watch TikTok videos, and we’re not ready for that conversation.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/library-book-treadmills-launched/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/library-book-treadmills-launched/)
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