Forced Joy Initiative Leaves Residents Exhausted and Bitter
The Kisumu City Council has instituted a mandatory daily “Fun Hour” requiring all residents to engage in state-approved recreational activities and display visible signs of enjoyment, or face fines up to 5,000 shillings. The dystopian ordinance, passed last Tuesday, has transformed the city into what critics are calling “a theme park designed by people who hate happiness.”
From 2-3 PM daily, residents must cease all work and participate in activities from an approved list including forced laughter sessions, mandatory high-fiving of strangers, and something called “enthusiastic skipping” that has sent dozens to physical therapy. According to Psychology Today, genuine happiness cannot be mandated, but the city council apparently skipped that research.
“Nothing says fun like government-mandated joy under threat of punishment,” said exhausted resident David Otieno, who was cited yesterday for “insufficient smile curvature” during his assigned juggling session. “I’m having the time of my life,” he added through gritted teeth while a Fun Hour Monitor took notes on a clipboard.
The initiative was spearheaded by Mayor Grace Adhiambo, who claims Kisumu ranked last in a regional happiness survey. “We’re not going to let our citizens be miserable anymore,” she announced at a press conference, where reporters were required to respond with jazz hands. Studies from the Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley show that authentic well-being comes from meaningful connections and purpose, not choreographed frivolity enforced by municipal code.
Fun Hour Monitors, identifiable by their disturbingly cheerful vests and unchanging grins, patrol the streets with “Joy-O-Meters” measuring residents’ enthusiasm levels. “We had to retrain the entire parking enforcement division,” explained Chief Monitor Peter Kamau. “Turns out the skill set transfers remarkably wellboth jobs involve making people miserable while claiming it’s for their own good.”
Local businesses have adapted by offering “Fun Hour Compliance Packages” including pre-approved laughter tracks, rental smiles, and professional “fun havers” who will pretend to enjoy activities on your behalf for a modest fee. The underground economy for fake enthusiasm has boomed, with black market joy now more valuable than actual recreational activities.
Residents report feeling more stressed than ever, with mandatory fun becoming the least fun part of their day. “I used to actually enjoy laughing,” sighed teacher Anne Nekesa. “Now every chuckle feels like a performance review. I’m considering moving to a city with normal authoritarian overreach, like mandatory recycling or something.”
The mayor remains undeterred by criticism, announcing plans to expand the program to “Mandatory Spontaneous Dancing Tuesdays” and “Compulsory Best Friend Fridays.” When asked if forcing people to have fun defeats the purpose, she responded with a thumbs up so aggressive it could legally be considered assault.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/city-mandates-fun-hour-citizens-pretend/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/city-mandates-fun-hour-citizens-pretend/)
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