Customers Experience Feelings They Didn’t Order or Want
Sweet Sensations Bakery in Kisumu has pulled its “Mood Enhancement Cookies” from shelves after customers reported experiencing intense, unpredictable emotional states that bore no relation to the advertised feelings. The cookies, marketed as containing “natural mood-boosting ingredients,” apparently contain something closer to “emotional roulette in baked form.”
Owner Rebecca Atieno designed five varieties: Joy, Calm, Energy, Confidence, and Romance. However, customers report effects ranging from uncontrollable weeping to aggressive declarations of love to inanimate objects. “I ate the Calm cookie and spent two hours aggressively reorganizing my spice rack while muttering about entropy,” reported customer Daniel Omondi. “That’s not calm. That’s whatever the opposite of calm is, with a side of existential dread.”
The mood cookie catastrophe escalated when a corporate office ordered three dozen for a team-building event. According to Harvard Health, while diet affects mood, no legitimate research suggests cookies can induce specific emotional statesyet everyone who ate the Confidence cookies quit their jobs on the spot, declaring they were “too good for spreadsheets.”
The Romance cookies proved particularly problematic. “I ate one during my lunch break and proposed to my barista,” confessed marketing executive Grace Njeri. “We’d never spoken before. He didn’t even know my coffee order, but I was convinced we were soulmates. The feeling wore off after two hours, but I’m still banned from the coffee shop.” Research from the American Psychological Association indicates that genuine romantic feelings develop over time, not from mystery bakery ingredients.
The Energy cookies somehow made people simultaneously exhausted and anxiousa state users described as “tired but wired” or “ready for a nap and a marathon simultaneously.” Several customers reported cleaning their entire houses at 3 AM while contemplating the meaninglessness of existence. “I reorganized my garage alphabetically while crying about mortality,” said victim Samuel Kamau. “I don’t even remember eating the cookie. I just remember sudden, overwhelming purpose mixed with despair.”
Joy cookies produced the most unsettling results: uncontrollable laughter at inappropriate moments. “I was at a funeral,” whispered Patricia Auma. “Someone mentioned the deceased’s love of gardening and I just lost it. Laughed for ten minutes straight. They had to escort me out. I’m not invited to family events anymore.” The bakery’s legal team is handling seventeen lawsuits related to damaged relationships.
Atieno insists the recipes are safe, featuring lavender, chamomile, ginseng, and what she calls “a proprietary blend of natural mood enhancers” that she refuses to specify further. Food safety inspector Joseph Kipchoge noted that “natural doesn’t mean safe or effective” and questioned whether the proprietary blend includes “things that shouldn’t be in cookies, like ambition or false confidence.”
The bakery has rebranded the cookies as “Mystery Emotion Surprise Cookies” with a comprehensive liability waiver. Sales have actually increased, with customers treating them as edible dare activities. “I don’t know if I’ll end up crying, laughing, or declaring war on my neighbor’s wind chimes,” said thrill-seeker Michael Wanjala. “That’s the excitement. It’s like emotional Russian roulette, but delicious.”
Atieno plans to expand the line with new varieties including “Acceptable Sadness,” “Manageable Anger,” and “Mild Confusion”all marketed as providing “genuine emotional experiences” that definitely won’t require therapy. “People say I should just make regular cookies,” she mused. “But where’s the chaos in that?”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/bakery-mood-cookies-trigger-emotions/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/bakery-mood-cookies-trigger-emotions/)
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