Bamboo-Loving Bears Now Doom-Scrolling Like Rest of Us
The Nairobi Metropolitan Zoo made headlines this week by becoming the first wildlife facility to install high-speed Wi-Fi specifically for its panda enclosure, citing concerns that the endangered bears were “falling behind technologically” and “missing out on crucial meme culture.”
The controversial decision came after zookeepers noticed the pandas, Ling-Ling and Bao-Bao, staring longingly at visitors’ smartphones through the glass. “We couldn’t bear to see them so disconnected,” explained Head Keeper James Omondi, apparently unaware of his own pun. “In today’s digital age, even pandas deserve internet access to stay informed about global bamboo prices and panda influencer drama.”
Within hours of installation, both pandas had created social media accounts and were reportedly spending 18 hours per day lying on their backs, scrolling through videos of other pandas eating bamboo. According to World Wildlife Fund, pandas typically spend 14 hours a day eating, but Ling-Ling has cut that down to six hours to accommodate her new TikTok addiction.
Zoo director Dr. Martha Wanjiku defended the decision despite criticism from wildlife conservationists. “People say we’re anthropomorphizing the pandas, but have you seen Bao-Bao’s engagement rates? He’s got 50,000 followers and he literally just posts videos of himself eating. He’s living every influencer’s dream,” she noted. Research from the Smithsonian indicates that pandas have relatively simple behavioral patterns, making them perfectly suited for social media consumption.
The pandas’ screen time has raised concerns among veterinarians, who worry about the long-term effects of blue light exposure on their already minimal motivation to reproduce. “We were already struggling to get them interested in mating,” admitted veterinarian Dr. Samuel Kipchoge. “Now Ling-Ling literally swiped left on Bao-Bao’s mating dance. She said his energy was ‘giving 2019.'”
Visitor numbers have actually increased since the Wi-Fi installation, with humans now coming to watch pandas exhibit the same antisocial behavior they do at home. “It’s oddly comforting,” said tourist Rebecca Achieng. “I feel less guilty about my own phone addiction when I see an endangered species doing the same thing.”
The zoo plans to expand the program to other exhibits, with the lions’ enclosure next in line. However, early tests suggest the big cats exclusively use their connectivity to watch videos of prey animals, which researchers describe as “concerning but understandable.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/zoo-installs-wi-fi-for-pandas/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/zoo-installs-wi-fi-for-pandas/)
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